Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is the high leading the old right now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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