Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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