mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
