New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
