He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
