I didn't shave. On purpose
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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