I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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