Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
