4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
