so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
