The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
