I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm bleeding and have questions
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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