i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
