My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
the raccoons are back...
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