2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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