Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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