ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
