Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
