i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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