so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
