I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
