So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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