you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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