hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
