so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
