someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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