Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
