Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
