I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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