Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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