Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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