we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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