There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
