eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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