it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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