I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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