matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I believe in your delicious
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
