Me. At least after what I've been through.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
