Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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