I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
