I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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