If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I understand Curling. That high.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
