my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
