how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
