So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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