Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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