I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
