thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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