if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
