why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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