I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
