Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
