youre lurking in front of me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
