they need to just BURY HIM!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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