dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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