I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
