is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
