Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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