i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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