I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
