Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
