My hand turned me down
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
